Carol Rose Writer | Editor | Teacher

For several years our family spent summer holidays and Sabbaticals in Jerusalem.

During one such Sabbatical year I allowed myself to enjoy some of the treats that were specific to Jerusalem, like the women's hamam - an old Turkish bath house (sadly) no longer in operation today.

On one of those luxurious afternoons at the hamam I met a therapist who told me that she had come to Jerusalem to study "with the only true teacher she had ever met." Thinking that she was referring to one of the new B'aale T'Shuvah yeshivahs, I asked who her teacher was. She said, "Madame Colette Abulker-Muscat, an Algerian therapist and wise woman who teaches a form of imagery work that is truly spiritual." She invited me to see for myself at one of Colette's soir?es, held on Wednesday or Saturday evenings.

As it happens, R'Zalman had also just spoken to me about Colette, mentioning that I might find her work compatible with my interest in psychology and religion.

I also visited Moshav Modi'in several times that year. On one Shabbat visit I shared a guest house with Elfie Goodman, a teacher who currently lives and teaches in Germany. After a short conversation Elfie said, "you know, you really should come to meet Colette. I have a feeling that you'd enjoy her work. Why don't you meet me there this Wednesday morning? She's offering a special class for therapists from the US, and I think you'll fit right in!"

By now I had heard about Colette three times and, as our tradition teaches, when one receives the same message three times, it should not be ignored! I felt certain that I was being directed to this unusual woman, but I had no idea why.

So instead of going to my Pardes class that Wednesday morning, I went to Colette's house on Shimoni Street.

Although much has recently been written about her home behind the blue gate, there was nothing to prepare me for the transformation that would take place once I entered.

The front hall was saturated (from floor to ceiling, it seemed) with photos of students and loved ones.

Suddenly I knew that I was in a holy place ... a sanctuary. Much prayer and healing had taken place here, I sensed.

I quietly moved from the outer room into an inner sitting area where Colette and her students were gathered. The house was tiny. Every nook and cranny held objects of beauty.

Once inside, I noticed that several blue globes hung from the ceiling, and that they cast a remarkable light. Everyone in the room was bathed in it, as were the paintings, colorful cushions, and the unusual wooden window dressings that ornamented the room. At the far end there was an ivory carved headboard, supporting a large bed. Seated on the bed was the teacher, Madame Colette.

She was regal, and, at seventy , she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen!

I tried to slip in unnoticed, but there was no chance ... Colette's eagle eye spotted me! In quite a stern voice she called out "What are you doing here?", a question I could barely answer myself, but one I knew I had to respond to. Just then Elfie spoke up, "It's alright, I invited her", and then Susan (the therapist I'd met at the hamam) piped in " so did I". I was safe, for the moment, at least!

The students were discussing an exercise. Each person offered a lovely, detailed, account of the journey that they had just taken under Colette's guidance. I was enthralled as I listened to each carefully worded description. Then it was time for another exercise. Colette said, "you may do this, but do not speak" which, of course, was not difficult in the face of such beautiful articulation. Again the students offered their images, and Colette commented on each. I found myself 'seeing' each image as though it were my own. After a few more exercises Colette said to me, "and you, what did you see or understand?" and suddenly my anonymity was gone! I had to share my image, whether I understood it or not. As it turns out, the image shook me! What I saw was a large golden breast (and although I worked with Colette from that day until her death, in 2003, I have never forgotten the power of that first exercise). Shyly, very shyly, I described my image and the accompanying sense of awe that I experienced. I said that I felt protected and cared for. There was an uncomfortable giggle from some of the male therapists, but the women in the room looked at me tenderly. Today I might not have found that image as revelatory as I did then, but in l979 there wasn't much talk about El Shaddai, the Nurturing Presence that I had just experienced in such a profound and immediate way. When I finished describing my experience Colette said, "come to see me tomorrow morning at eight" and that was the end of my Pardes studies, and the beginning of my work with Colette.

I continued studying with Colette (three or four times a week) for the rest of that year. Sometimes I'd have a private session before a class. Other times there would be two or three of us who came for those early morning sessions. Often I would return at five in the afternoon for a gathering in the garden. Although these were not classes, in the usual sense, there was always something to learn. Mainly I observed how Colette helped her visitors rediscover the meaning and purpose of their lives. Along with a cup of herbal tea (a mixture of rose petals and jasmine from her own tree) there was a sense of deep spiritual companionship. Colette learned about the outer world from her guests; the world of travel, of scientific research, of contemporary literature and art, of new trends in psychology, or current theological thought. In exchange, her visitors were offered opportunities to journey inward and, with a simple image or idea, they learned to shift perspective instantly. We never left the garden quite the same as when we entered!

I returned to Colette every summer until her death (sometimes returning during winter break, as well). I came because she was, most assuredly, my Mashpiya, my spiritual teacher! I always refer to her as the third member of my Beit Din; the third individual who initiated me into the work of Jewish spiritual teaching and guidance. Certainly, R'Shlomo and R' Zalman were influential spiritual guides, and they have remained my life long companions. Each encouraged my learning, and each nurtured my creativity . They directed me to follow our holy teachings, guided by my own insight and intuition. But it was Colette's work that would become my own; her work colored by my own temperament and personality . She gave freely of her exercises, and she gave totally of her wisdom. Her example encouraged each of us (who were her students) to become, in her words, "authors of our own lives", or "our own authority".

I conclude this piece, I realize that it is days before Colette's100th birthday. It is bittersweet to feel her so close.

I see her listening, (sometimes probing) asking questions that lead her students deeper into their image pool, deeper into their inner reservoir, deeper into Source.

It is my prayer that this article, and the way in which I have understood her teachings, brings honor to her memory. Colette was a willing witness to the

handiwork of the Holy One, searching for the individual spark that each being comes into existence to realize. She understood her role in all of this ...

telling us often, that she was the keeper of the keys. And it's those keys that she held out to us through her amazing work.

Let her own works praise her ... and may her efforts bless our own.