a poetic remembering
for Zalman
by: carol rose
invited to write a poem in honor of your ninetieth birthday beloved
Zalman, i struggle to write a memorial piece instead.
i slip deeper into memory, recall that first glance, an RCMP beaver coat
(complete with hugs) waiting at the Winnipeg airport to greet us, Shlomo
& a seventeen year old enamored with your teachings, (mimeographed
sheets) a deepTorah translated for contemporary seekers. you were
always s translator, Zalman, bringing the children of war-fractured parents,
& folks of different faiths closer ... & we, hungry for God, we learned
the old texts (sweetened in your mouth) a Torah of poetry & song.
i remember that first Shabbos, your shtreimel, with tails that moved
in a direction of their own, so like you, the essence Chassidic, the
execution original (“a Picaso”, i can hear you chuckle) & that
twelve hour bus ride, in a snowstorm, crossing boarders, learning
Kabbalah all night, using an overhead reading lamp to illustrate
the breaking of vessels, shevirat ha keylim, studying with you
as Shlomo slept &, when you rested, learning with him, an immigration
officer wondering at our entourage, two rabbis & a young woman.
but there is more, much more, the Sukkah at the Seminary
on the eve of Aaron Ha Cohen, a tish in Crown Heights, the
Bobover in blue silky kapota, waiting outside 770, alone ...
the only woman in line ... waiting to get you lekach from the Rebbe,
Simchat Torah, you standing on top of a car on Eastern Parkway,
leading us in song, chevre dancing in the streets until dawn.
our wedding & yours, a cheque for our rent, learning gmilut chesed
(your actions always our greatest teacher) judaic studies, psychology
of religion, dreaming of connecting basements (under separate houses
buried in snow) Bnai Or/Pnai Or, “a community of left feet” you loved
to call us, Shabbos, always Shabbos, your table or ours, guests
from the House of Love & Prayer, chanting Shalom Aleichem to “Hail
Hail the Gang’s All Here”, Purim at Hillel House ... Esther, Mordechai
& Haman each with voices of their own, Pesach in Winnipeg & Philadelphia,
Elijah’s cup (in its many forms), your students, our friends, Art & TK, our children
& yours, breaking the sefer barrier, birthing new ritual, sweetening the Psalms,
a new khap, a new insight, dancing the Sephirotic map, becoming rainbows
able to project multifaceted light, a paradigm shift, gender & identity becoming
more permiable, the universe an organismic whole, finding ourselves
on the growing edge, developing the heart muscle, loving & holding space
for each other, the world, learning to rebbe , discovering the numinous ... together.
